Ghost Of The Posts

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Broken Hearted + emotional break down=Aftermath in my mind

12.30 am…..
What is Determination???

We all know that determination is something we do for it…no matter how bad we want it….

But the real determination reason is forced yourself to push the limit and no matter how hard it would be to ignore the pain that we suffer but for some people….they don’t care, not even once….why?
because they have a mind that conquers it’s all…if you want it…go get it…don’t stop.

I believe the touch of magic… why? Because that moment when you try to do something hard…Actually…it’s very easy…but why some people thinks it’s very hard before they even do the thing? They should do first then analyze the strategy…don’t jump into the conclusion…because you going to need everything…I mean everything…

After farah hani broke my heart, I was sad and devastated because I was confident that she will never see me again…now, I met a girl her name is (Jia), she has everything that I want, she was my teammate in my team “Forteen”(group 14) but just the previous problem has return :The fear of being rejected… that was my weakness but I have to overcome and patient…I can’t just tell her that I like her…there is no way she will said “I like you too”…to me…that pain that I felt for years, I forced them write one by one…this pain I forced write them down…one by one…I give my everything, my hope, my love for you…but it  just another moment that we cherish together…yes, they said all guys are the same…it’s true but you can’t be weak because of guys…NO!... I want a girl can stand and fight, loveable, same interest…you probably hate me or stay away from me because you are not felling comfortable, it’s okay I want you to be comfortable don’t feel awkward and scare…I very sincere to you….

Diary before to KPTM Ipoh...


Assalam,2.33 pagi,sabtu,depan tv…seorang…aku rasa sejuk…bukan pasal kipas…tapi pasal emosi aku,aku kecewa sebab aku tak tahu apa yang aku nak untuk masa depan aku,walaupun memang target nak jadi atlet tapi macam mana nak ke sana/destinasi,aku tak tahu…serius…aku bersyukur ada abang,kakak,mak,abah,ayah dan kawan-kawan….tapi aku tak diberi peluang untuk berfikir sebab diorang buat pelan untuk aku…just one tiny problem,aku tak suka push over yang dahsyat sampai aku tak boleh handle…aku takut terlalu banyak perkara(worst thing could happen)…but aku kena terima…maybe ada Hikmah disebalikNya..aku tak tahu…apa yang aku tahu…is FOLLOW MY CHILDHOOD DREAM…tu yang aku nak…apa yang kita selalu buat,impian masa zaman kanak-kanak…maybe this my chance to see and get Farah Hani(My New Crush) closer…

Why I like about Farah Hani?
Cute,Very Honest,Smart,Religious,Classy,Respect.Cheerful.But she said I’m not the guy that she want…i know that feeling more than I can count,as usual I should change when I realize or a second  chances to live and a redemption… I want chase my childhood dream but it’s going to a loooooooonnnnnng road….at first I was ready to drop a bomb,and knock em out….when my brother and my sister ask me if I’m really sure and they asked same question many times until it makes me unsure….i hates those feeling…that’s why I’m writing this…I have no idea…REALLY….Assalam and goodnight…-Xpand Your  Imagination….
P/S:Dear,Farah Hani Will you be my last love for my life? Please?